The sounds of silence sweep past my ear in the ether. Beyond midnight, the red traffic light glimmers like a ruby off in the distance. I step into the autumn air and release a breath of warmth creating a billowing of rising moisture into the elements. Following the path of my younger self, I’m invigorated in my hazy forgetfulness. Why did I come? When will I leave?
I ponder these questions for eternity in an instant while watching an insect crawling down the path toward my foot. Separating light from dark is only a shimmering reflection of the sun off the moon in all its crescent glory staring down from above. Stepping through time lost within an instant. Why did I come? When will I leave?
Again, with the urgency of a suffocating river otter trapped beneath the girth of a clumsily chosen component for his domicile, lost within time, I stare at the sky- imagining the countless worlds orbiting stars near and far, my mind is ejected toward the heavens and bounces from point of luminosity to particle of matter, containing and within, all of creation.
I’ve come to divine purpose and meaning. It all begins to make sense. I grasp the unthinkable. As I reach for my pad to begin jotting my thoughts, a spark occurs to my imagination. I’ve forgotten again.
When consciousness ceases being personal, it just is. Floating in the empty void creating space, creating time, manifesting droplets of light which flow into matter creating awareness.
Time is an irrelevant measurement of the dimension beyond space, denoted by the rotation of the earth and revolution of this tiny planet around its star. Fractured into minute components, but not discrete packets of length, time cannot be broken down into indivisible bits. There can be no standard measurement of time. It’s measurement is relative, affected both by its velocity and mass- that is speed and gravity slows the passage of time.
Time cannot exist without an observer. Hence prior to the evolutionary progression which brought about matter and awareness, time flowed not in a linear fashion, but in a complex spatial arrangement both instantaneous and eternal. This implies time, like conscious awareness is pervasive and fundamental, arising from matter, but connected as an inseparable phenomenon. That is, matter and consciousness are one and the same. Time is a manifestation of the union of matter and spirit. The universe itself is conscious, and although individually each of us is but a seemingly insignificant component of that cosmic consciousness, so too is the whole of the universe a component of ourselves.
The ontological arguments asks the question, what came before the universe? If it’s God, what came before God? There can be no end to this progression of inquiry because our rational minds perceive cause and then effect, so for every perceived entity, there should be an earlier creator. If we cease to think of time a sequential, and instead recognize it as a progression only of consciousness, we can begin to accept events as having dualistic nature’s- both instantaneous and eternal.
Our perception of the universe is an illusion, a kind of hologram produced in the cosmic consciousness and reflected back to us as our segment of mindful awareness. Understanding this, nothing was created because nothing truly exists; the universe is an anti-entropic genetic algorithm, not an object.
As humans, we have a tragic flaw about us– with the mind of a God and the body of an animal, we are compelled to act on mundane drives that sustain our lives and our species. We demonize these natural urges when they are the instincts that allow for our sacred awareness to be. As divine sparks, we seek to attain perfection, an ideal beyond our grasp due to the necessities of the body. By separating bias from self, clarifying vision, we awaken to the beauties, complexities, and curiosities of life.
The birth of language has fundamentally altered our perception of time. Instead of a wave we ride completely oblivious to its existence, we become able to think about the concept ‘time’ in a totally abstract way– as having a past, and a future. This in actual fact might be the illusion, but the filter in our minds, the doors of perception, closes off our rational, logical, linguistic, thinking awareness from all but the present.
One of my goals by practicing Buddhism, is liberation from compulsive thought- the endless sequence of language fluttering past the awareness, often uninvited. The idea that clairvoyance becomes possible for advanced meditators implies that language is the barrier or limiting factor preventing us from perceiving time holistically, rather than sequentially. We might have flashes of intuition, feelings of déjà vu, or experience synchronicity during moments of clarity. Quieting the mind opens a connection to the collective consciousness and its pervasive archetypes.
Outside of our linguistic awareness, there is another awareness unconfined by time and space. When the universe came into being, along with it came the great mind. As the universe expanded and cooled, life emerged. The great mind shines through life. Time and evolution tore at this collective intelligence, initiating a split and creating the unconscious. Over eons, during the evolution of the conscious mind, some perceptions and experiences were regarded as forbidden in the context of culture and civilization. As the number of repressed concepts increased, the unconscious grew and the conscious mind correspondingly shrank. After the mind bifurcated, the linguistic awareness grew unilaterally, while we lost contact with the more primal, psychic awareness. Because the collective mind is distributed into all life, this shift applied to all conscious beings. It is out of the great mind we each gain our awareness.
As evolution progressed, humans worshiped the sun, the moon, and the earth as givers of life. Regular rituals involving visionary plants inhibited the formation of the ego, promoting instead collectivist, tribal partnership values and feminine/masculine equality. The cycles of the moon dictated the timing of these rituals, dissolving boundaries and identities, engaging eroticism, and healing irregularities that developed in personal self-imaging since the last session. These practices kept group and species values of utmost importance in human culture, promoted a sense of unity, and kept dynamic balance in the ecosystem. As these plants became scarce and the rituals occurred less frequently, the ego began to take hold. The ego’s existence demands control, and slowly it became the dominant archetype of our world.
Millennia of neglect and repression caused the primal awareness to atrophy. This has created imbalance and discord as humans battle the darkness within themselves. By quieting the linguistic awareness, we transcend our animal nature and reawaken to truth. Only in silence, because language, although critical to our social development, ironically is also our greatest perceptual weakness.